Fan Suggestions at the Inventory
by CJ Fortune
Summary: All of your favorite characters at the inventory. All of them. (Suggestions appreciated, PM me.)


Poker Night X: Consistency meets the finger.

I once again walked into the alleyway between 40th and Q street, looking for the well-known "Inventory" sign. I came down here at the end of every week, with about 10 grand to blow from overestimating my mortgage and finding the occasional 1 on the ground. Entering the building, I was once again greeted by Winslow, ready to play some Texas Hold 'Em against the usual blokes.

For one, the was some strange rabbit named Max. His anatomical differences were overblown to the point where I couldn't even tell if he was a rabbit sometimes, but he was incredibly insistent that he was "lagomorphic" which I STILL don't know the meaning of.

And then there was this boxer character who called himself Strong Bad. He had an ego the size of his pot whenever he lugged around his bag full of good luck charms. I ocassionally threw the match for him, which seemed to be any time I would bet small amounts. He never seemed to grasp the concept of "calling someone's bluff", y'know?

There was also this strange russian dude who only went by "heavy." It's entirely likely he wanted a last-name basis, but I dunno. He always had a thing for calmly talking about his murderous escapades. I still remember not even checking for 5 minutes after he told us about the time he shoved some poor mechanic's wrench down his throat.

But I don't think I'll ever forget Tycho. Paradoxical, really, he was about as flat as the cards he had in his hands. He always talked about his card games, and he never really spoke up unless spoken to.

However, none of these chumps were who I found at the table. Who I did find was some scruffy dude with a brown overcoat, some black rodent about half my height with inexplicable red highlights in his spines, some green-haired lady with bat wings, and some blond teen with bedhead in a black-and-white jacket with two leather straps forming an "X".

 _Poker's poker._ I mused to myself, deciding to just play along with these characters. I sat down in my usual spot overlooking the bar and extended my hand to the teenager on my left.

"The name's Corbin."

"Ventus. But you can just call me Ven." After making contact with him, I turned my attention over the the next character.

"Morrigan. The pleasure's all mine."

"The name's Dick Gumshoe, pal. Please don't use my first name."

"I'll keep that in mind, Richard." I offered the nickname before turning my attention to that black hedgehog.

"Shadow." He said, not even looking in my direction.

"... Not even gonna grace me with a look in my direction? Either you've got Asperger's or your fur is hiding your slit arms."

I hi-fived Morrigan before leaning back in my seat as Winslow appeared and asked for our dough. However, Shadow was the only one who did not throw a wad of cash into the middle.

"The currency conversion office doesn't accept power rings; sorry, guys."

"Shadow, you gotta play!" Ven whined.

"It's never as fun without you, pal!" Richard continued.

"I can rememdy this situation, though." Shadow droned, reaching behind him to pull out some yellow gem about the size of my fist.

"Do you take Chaos Emeralds?" Shadow asked. Inexplicably, two cards appeared in front of everyone, Shadow being labeled the small blind. The game was on.

When I still played against Max, SB, Heavy, and Tycho, they were easy to win against, even while I was inebriated. They always followed the same pattern and never changed it up once.

With these four blokes, I had to get accustomed to a new set of rules, especially considering Shadow didn't even budge when he was handed two aces and took $7,000 in the first pot. I was pleasantly surprised someone in this bar would have an actual poker face.

I didn't even notice that I eventually only had enough money to serve as the big blind. I set the $400 dollars in the middle and leaned back, waiting for the traditional fat chewin' to commence.

"So, Morrigan. I've heard you're what's known as a 'succubus'?" Ven asked.

"That's comparatively common knowledge." Morrigan replied, setting down $700 for her bet.

"What kind of heartless is that?"

Me, Shadow, and Richard all stared at Ven. Morrigan just set her cards face-down, moved her chips aside, and somehow her wings dispersed into a flurry of bats. They then reformed in front of her into a textbook, which she then proceeded to introduce to her forehead.

"What? The darkness motif and the emblazoned heart tipped me off!"

"You really need to learn some mythology, pal." Richard replied, looking at the newly formed flop before thumping two fingers on the table.

I looked at the flop, deciding to wait for the end of the hand so I could drink this bad game away. Only three hands and I already got my money stolen. Must've been an academy record!

Inexplicably, Gumshoe looked at the flop, back at his cards, and back at the flop again.

"Nope!" He hollered while throwing his cards down. In his carelessness, he reavealed both his cards. 3 of Hearts and 9 of Diamonds.

Shadow seemed to realize something, probably his plan going south, and immediately set his cards aside.

I decided that now would be as good a time as any to look over my cards. _3 of Clubs, 7 of Spades. Not too good._ I mused to myself, canvassing everyone else's faces. They all looked a little arrogant, even the seemingly empty Shadow. However, looking over the flop again, I realized the other shoe was likely going to drop, and allowed myself a quick smirk.

Ven set down $1,000, a rather massive amount this early. Morrigan took this opportunity to clear her throat and lecture Ven on the concept of succubae.

"Do you know how a succubus feeds? Mythology shows it trough sexual actions, but we also get nourishment off of consumption of dreams and stimulus, particularly pleasure. The last part of which is greatly staving my hunger." She finished, setting down her cards and shoving forth $1,500.

I saw that Ven allowed himself a smile, signifying he was bluffing, and bluffing hard. _Conserve the bluffing for the river_ , my dad always said, and that had managed to win me a few thousand dineros. And this was only the turn, which actually showed that I was the one going to come out on top.

He seemed to know his hand was a ticking time bomb, since after the river was shown and Gumshoe folded upon it showing, Ven immediately checked.

Since no one bet, everyone turned their cards over. Ven had two kings, one of Diamonds, one of Spades, and Morrigan had a 5 of Diamond and Ace of Spades. After I set my cards down, they both cupped their hands in their heads.

The 5 cards on the table would have yeilded merely a high card Jack. But it was my saving grace, thanks to the 4 of Diamonds, 5 of Spades, and 6 of Clubs. The other two were dust in the wind, and all I remember was what hand was associated with the others.

"Ven has... a pair of kings!

"Morrigan has... a pair of fives!

"Corbin has... a straight! Corbin wins the hand!"

I snagged the 15 thousand bones put into the pot and watched everyone glare daggers at me.

The rest of the game past in a relatively typical fashion. The others often engaged in small talk, me not saying anything unless I wanted to snark it up.

"Yeah, I had no idea why Demitri just barged into my bedroom." Morrigan once said.

"This coming from the succubus?"

"I still don't know why he keeps on slashing my paycheck! I can barely afford instant noodles as is!" Gumshoe once moaned.

"Is this because you keep losing at poker?"

"Believe me, I could make time stop and look at your hands without being called out if I wanted to."

"Oh, I would be able to. Your quills would likely be on fire or there would be an indentation in the wall. Thank YOOOUUU Isaac Newton!"

Eventually, Shadow went all in on a hand and was hoping we would fold, but I had so much money at this point I was able to match him with no fear.

"Shadow has... three of a kind!"

 _Not bad,_ I mused, turning over my own hand.

"Corbin has... a full house! Corbin wins the hand!"

Shadow sighed and looked at his yellow gemstone. I looked at him and said, "There's still six more out there, right?"

"Yeah, thanks." Shadow breathed, somehow looking even more emo. He walked away from the table, tugging at his gloves.

Later on, after so many checks and folds it was sounding like banknote origami, Gumshoe dropped his last few chips into the pot, as he was forced to spend the $800 raised big blind. I could tell just by looking at his face that his cards were horrible.

But we played on, paying no mind to the big lug that was waiting for his hand to be revealed so he could cry himself to sleep.

After the river was turned, me, Morrigan, and Ven looked at Gumshoe, waiting to see how the cookie crumbled. "I didn't even know this was possible, but now..."

"Gumshoe has... ten high. Morrigan wins the hand." Even Winslow didn't sound too hot.

While Morrigan's wing-turned-bats-turned-rake-thing was bringing in her chips, we all looked at Richard.

"Welp, see you around, pals."

Ven didn't have much of a poker face. It wasn't very surprising, considering that some things he said had him associating with Disney characters. The fact that he was somehow lucky enough to last until the top 3 was staggering to me. Didn't change the fact that he was going to go down.

"Do you see this $12,000 pile of chips? Let's see your reactions when all of them are on the line!" I had $27,000 and was feeling a little cocky, so I matched his bet. Ven actually flinched, and Morrigan just stared at me, like trying to say "FOLD! FOLD! I DID! FOLD!" It turned out I had called his bluff.

"Ven has... two pair!"

"Corbin has... three of a kind! Corbin wins the hand!"

Ven's hand flashed a really bright light, and inexplicably, some giant key appeared out of nowhere. Though he caught himself and said "No, no, I did this." The key vanished in the same flash and Ven walked away.

It came down to just me and Morrigan. She looked me in the eye and I could feel my soul being peirced, almost like she was trying to coerce me to give her some of my chips. Fortunately, it was late and my eyes were tired, so I was able to break focus. The cards were dished out, and the home stretch commenced.

"All in."

It was a single, instant moment. The flop was presented, not showing much to go off of, just a few face cards. I had no clue what Morrigan was trying to pull, but she had only previously bet $3,000 on the previous rounds of betting. She would have to be serious at this point. I decided to call, throwing in my final $20,000 and looking at her cards. Two Aces. YIKES.

The river and turn was presented, and I saw Morrigan nervously tug on the wings on her temples. It was then I noticed that her cards did not provide something to go further on from.

But then I took a look at the cards laid down. 5 of Diamonds. 8 of Spades. Queen of Spades. Jack of Hearts. King of Clubs. _Not a lot,_ I found myself thinking. But I took a gander at my cards. Two Jacks.

"Hah-hah, YEAH!" I hollered.

"Morrigan has... Two pair."

"Corbin has... three of a kind!"

"Corbin wins the tournament!"

Morrigan started looking a little forlorn, and I decided to cheer her up. "Don't worry, what say to a couple of drinks? On me..."

Morrigan bothered to look up from the floor. She made eye contact, but this time it didn't feel like my mind was being pierced. "That would be nice. Thanks, Corbin."

"Hey, my treat. I've got $40,000 to burn and I don't know what to do with it. I figure this may be a good start."

"You want me to act as your ride home?"

"As long as you don't pull anything funny." I said, keeping as striaght a face as possible.

We both howled after only three seconds. Through gasping breaths, Morrigan said, "Hey, do you think you would want to meet my sister sometime? I figure you two are gonna get along juuuust fine..."


End file.
